The snake was vicious, snarling, and dangerous. He terrified the villagers, biting the children and scaring all the adults. But sometimes he felt lonely and craved companionship.
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Consider this...
If you were delivering life-saving mouth-to-mouth on someone in public, you'd be totally focussed.
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Do you remember my client John from a few podcasts back? Who couldn't bring himself to pursue his dream of opening a small hotel in Spain because of what people might think?
Listen on to find out what happened.
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People say "be yourself" don't they? But they never say how.
Firstly, remember it's human to mimic other humans...
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'We would worry less about what others think of us if we realized how seldom they do.'
- Ethel Barrett
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The imagination is a wonderful thing. Except when it's not.
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Have you noticed that some people use disapproval as a weapon?
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I've noticed that people who are overly concerned with approval assume that other people will think them 'a terrible person' or 'a loser' if they say or do something that isn't somehow right...
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Peer pressure can make us go against what we truly know to be decent and civilized behaviour.
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You may have spotted this, but anxiously seeking approval is often an attempt at trying to gain and keep a sense of control.
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Constantly seeking approval means we're perpetually worried that others are forming a bad opinion of us.
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Some approval seeking is inevitable of course - after all, we all need friends.
But if we are led through life doing what we've come to believe is 'expected of us', then, in a way, we cease to exist, to live, and be real.
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'Why should we worry about what others think of us, do we have more confidence in their opinions than we do our own?' - Brigham Young.
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If you feel guilty for something you did, ask yourself: "Did I mean to cause pain to others or myself?"
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If you feel guilty for something you did, ask yourself: "Did I mean to cause pain to others or myself?"
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Continuing on our topic of self forgiveness, think whether you've found it hard to forgive yourself because other people have had trouble forgiving you.
Consider: Are they using this as psychological blackmail with which to manipulate you?
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Self-forgiveness doesn't mean making excuses; rather, it's about finding understanding.
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Have you ever thought like that?
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If you feel inferior, imagine for a moment how you'd need to be to feel great about yourself.
What would you need to look like, to own, to be doing?
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It's so freeing when you give yourself permission to be yourself.
No one has written on his tombstone: "Here lies Ralph; he was quite like John."
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We can know we're inferior in some ways without this making us feel bad.
So here's what to do if you find yourself feeling inferior to someone...
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Do you think that perhaps the people you think of as the 'best' also have people that they feel inferior to?
Here's one way around this trap...
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Let's face it, most of us compare ourselves to others.
Mass media beams in the finest looking, richest, and most talented people into our lives 24/7.
This creates the illusion that we 'know' all these beautiful, clever, younger, athletic, rich, able people.
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We've been talking a lot about low self esteem, but we really need to know what makes for solid self esteem. After all, if you don't know the destination, how are you going to get there?
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Is there any chance you feel like this sometimes?
'If it's not perfect then it's a total failure!'
In my years as a therapist I've found this is a very common approach to life taken by people with low self esteem and general anxiety.
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