If you feel guilty for something you did, ask yourself: "Did I mean to cause pain to others or myself?"
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If you feel guilty for something you did, ask yourself: "Did I mean to cause pain to others or myself?"
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Continuing on our topic of self forgiveness, think whether you've found it hard to forgive yourself because other people have had trouble forgiving you.
Consider: Are they using this as psychological blackmail with which to manipulate you?
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Self-forgiveness doesn't mean making excuses; rather, it's about finding understanding.
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Have you ever thought like that?
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If you feel inferior, imagine for a moment how you'd need to be to feel great about yourself.
What would you need to look like, to own, to be doing?
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It's so freeing when you give yourself permission to be yourself.
No one has written on his tombstone: "Here lies Ralph; he was quite like John."
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We can know we're inferior in some ways without this making us feel bad.
So here's what to do if you find yourself feeling inferior to someone...
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Do you think that perhaps the people you think of as the 'best' also have people that they feel inferior to?
Here's one way around this trap...
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Let's face it, most of us compare ourselves to others.
Mass media beams in the finest looking, richest, and most talented people into our lives 24/7.
This creates the illusion that we 'know' all these beautiful, clever, younger, athletic, rich, able people.
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We've been talking a lot about low self esteem, but we really need to know what makes for solid self esteem. After all, if you don't know the destination, how are you going to get there?
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Is there any chance you feel like this sometimes?
'If it's not perfect then it's a total failure!'
In my years as a therapist I've found this is a very common approach to life taken by people with low self esteem and general anxiety.
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Low self-esteem makes us magnify failures and personal faults.
It also makes us minimize or completely discount successes and personal strengths.
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In this podcast I'll tell you one thing that almost every person I've treated for low self esteem does (including our friend Joy from my last podcast), how to understand it, and how to fix it in your mind.
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A diamond doesn't know its value to others.
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Contrary to popular belief, healthy self-esteem doesn't mean loving yourself no matter what you do.
Shame, guilt, and self-reproach do have a place if we behave badly.
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Please take a moment to read this next sentence.
Low self-esteem is a false perception of oneself.
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There are more theories about self esteem than there are leaves on the tree outside my window, but if there's one thing I know after 15+ years of helping people with low self esteem, it's this:
Low self-esteem almost always results from how we are conditioned by other people.
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